Have you ever been in a state where your mind is running a million miles an hour to work out what´s going on and suddenly you can´t figure out if you are dreaming or not? Well, this happened to me recently. There I was, lying on a bed, with a machine that beeped from time to time next to me, and someone pressing down on my belly. And then, there they were – two blobs! I almost fainted when the Radiographer happily announced the news.
Right there and then a new chapter of my life began…
I know that My Lilli Pilli has been very quiet on the social media front lately – have you been on holiday you ask? sadly no. On the contrary, I have been spending the majority of my time staring into the toilet bowl – the joys of “morning”-sickness that continued all day (thank-you hormones!). Could it be that I was expecting my second child?
The first ultrasound was at around the 8 weeks pregnancy mark. I was feeling a little unwell and the Doctor suspected appendicitis. When the Radiographer was scanning my belly I looked over on the monitor and noticed that there were two blobs with heart beats. I remember I seemed to stop breathing and suddenly found myself in a kind of dreaming state and couldn´t work out if it was reality or not. After pinching myself several times and realising this situation was real, my brain went into serious overdrive with thoughts flying around; “How do I breast feed two babies simultaneously?”, “How can we afford having three kids in childcare?”, “Am I going to be the same size as whale?”, “Can we fit two capsules as well as a toddler seat in our Ford Fiesta?”, “Would I have any spare time for My Lilli Pilli?” the questions kept on coming! At the same time I was filled with a mixture of feelings ranging from despair, to joy and anxiety – all the time feeling even more guilty for not being over the moon about the news. We were in fact blessed. While lying there, I slowly looked over towards my husband who clearly was very happy and laughing hysterically, as he always wanted lots of kids, and of course now he thinks he´s Mr Wonderful!
For the first couple of weeks after the scan I was more or less in a zombie state – all I could do was sleep, eat, throw up and sleep. The few times my brain managed to function during this time, I just kept worrying about the future – I was honestly very scared about all the unknown things to come. So many questions about having two babies at the same time with a 4 year old running around. Fortunately, help was at hand as I have friends who have had twins so I spent time talking about their experiences. This certainly has helped me come to terms with what will be happening in about six months’ time. Mother Nature never ceases to amaze me on how we come to terms with situations and start making plans. I am glad to report that we have begun preparations for the wonderful new additions to our family. Normal service has been resumed!
Stay tuned for my next blog.
In my next blog post I will describe which skin changes I experienced during the first trimester, and how I dealt with them.